


Attention!

by PrivateSecret



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attention-Starvation, Blangst, Comfort/Angst, Fluff and Angst, Insecurity, M/M, Multi, NYADA, Polyamory, Polyamory Big Bang, Polyfidelity, Threesome - M/M/M, insecure Blaine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-18 05:17:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9369695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrivateSecret/pseuds/PrivateSecret
Summary: In Blaine's experience, if you stop being in the centre of someone's attention or stopped constantly wowing them with your charm, your voice, your manners, they forget you.Blaine trembled at the thought that his attempts to retain his boyfriends' attention, had almost caused him to loose them.





	

**Author's Note:**

> All characters except Blaine, Sebastian and Kurt are only mentioned.

“That really wasn't necessary, Blaine!”

“Cassandra July asked if anyone could do it; I could, so I did it. I don't get why you're so mad.” 

“Kurt's right, Blaine, it was completely unnecessary. You could have just told her that you could do it.”

“You weren't even there, Sebastian,” Blaine snapped. 

“That's doesn't matter,” Kurt huffed. “Sebastian knows exactly what I'm talking about. It's not like it's the first time you've done something like that.”

“Guys—” Blaine started. 

“It's like you're completely incapable of _not_ being in the centre of attention for even a second!” Kurt was ablaze. He tossed his bag onto the couch as soon as they entered the loft and started pacing back and forth. 

“And as soon as everyone pays attention to anything else, you do something like today and make sure to remind everyone that ‘Oh, hey, Blaine Anderson is here, the _Attention whore_!’” Sebastian hissed.

“Stop it!” Blaine started to tear up as he hung up their coats. “I didn't mean to brag or anything. And I still don't get why you're so angry, Bas, you weren't even there.”

“Blaine you've been doing stuff like that for as long as I've known you. Just a couple days ago you jumped on the coffee table when we had friends over and started singing. For no reason whatsoever! I'm getting tired of it.” Sebastian lay down on one of the couches and crossed his arms.

“I don't know why you feel the need to be in the centre of attention all the time. Maybe because your parents never really paid attention to you or—”

“Don't bring my parents into this,” Blaine interrupted Kurt. He felt ashamed, like a naughty child being rebuked and punished in front of his friends. “You guys are acting like I do this every single day.” 

“You do, Blaine,” Kurt replied. 

“No, I don't. I don't do stuff like that every day.” 

“You do little things that are just as annoying.” 

“Like what?” 

“Like when Sebastian and I are sitting on the couch together, you always make a point of coming in between us or sitting on our laps. Or when we're in the middle of a conversation that we started minutes ago and you want us to talk about something else so that you can be included. Or when we're playing a game and you make us start all over again just so that you can play as well. And you do it every time. That's not normal. When you and I are in the middle of a conversation or game Sebastian doesn't make us change the subject or restart the game so that he can be included. You can't stand to be on the sidelines,” Kurt huffed.

Blaine remained silent, the only sound coming from him being the occasional sniff.

“You have got to stop acting like that, Blaine,” Sebastian said, his tone having softened considerably.

“OK, OK, I'm sorry. I'll stop. I'll be better,” Blaine whispered. He briskly exited the living room and entered their shared bedroom where he promptly flopped on the bed and tried to swallow down the tears. He knew why their words hurt so much. Sebastian was right of course; his parents were hardly there growing up and he had always felt like he had to yell to get their attention. Cooper was so much older than him and far too self-absorbed to notice him. Although he'd had quite a few friends in high school, only a few were true friends, the rest having forgotten him as soon as he stopped clamouring for their attention. In Blaine's experience, if you stop being in the centre of someone's attention or stopped constantly wowing them with your charm, your voice, your manners, they forget you. Abandon you.

That night laying beside Kurt and Sebastian in bed, he resolved to be better.

*** 

To his bewilderment, Sebastian and Kurt were apologising the next morning.

“We spoke too harshly. I was just really angry, but I know we should have told you differently,” Kurt was saying.

“What we said is still true, though,” Sebastian said quickly.

“It's OK. It's good that you told me. In fact, I wish you had told me earlier so that I could be better already. I didn't know I was making you so angry.” Blaine trembled at the thought that his attempts to retain his boyfriends' attention, had almost caused him to loose them.

 _Too clingy, Blaine_ , he thought, _you're a clingy attention whore_.

*** 

“Is it just me or was there something worrying about Blaine this morning?” Kurt said as soon as he sat down next to Sebastian at lunch. The three of them always met at the Italian restaurant on Fridays so that they could eat lunch together.

“I don't know, he did seem shaken somehow,” Sebastian mused. “Where is he, anyway?”

“He sent me a text saying he would be ten minutes late,” Kurt replied quickly, he wanted to have this conversation before Blaine arrived. “But don't you think he was acting strange? He seemed chipper after we apologised but there was something sad in his eyes.”

“He always did take hurtful words to heart. He was probably just trying to hide that he was still hurt.”

“I really don't get why he does that. Why pretend to be happy when you're still mad?” Kurt frustration was palpable. “It's so confusing and makes everything more difficult.”

“Kurt, calm down. Give him a day or two and he will be fine.”

“You're right,” Kurt sighed. He took deep calming breathes and smiled genuinely when he saw Blaine enter the restaurant.

 

***

 

 _OK, Blaine, show them you can change_ , he thought, squaring his shoulders. He saw Sebastian and Kurt sitting at their favourite table, small and secluded it was perfect for an intimate gathering. 

“Hey, guys,” he smiled as he slipped into the seat opposite them. He mentally checked _Rule #1: Don't insist on sitting between_ _or on_ _them_. 

“Hi, Blainey-Days,” Sebastian teased. 

Blaine looked up shocked, “How on earth did you find out about that one?” 

“The nickname? Oh, Tina called Kurt a couple weeks ago and he put her on speaker. She was asking about you and kept on calling you that. I've been waiting for the perfect moment to use that nickname,” Sebastian smirked. Despite being having changed a lot since high school, he had yet stop giving people nicknames. The nicknames he chose were mostly mean, with Kurt and Blaine's nicknames being an exception. Unless he was angry at them. 

“Thanks, Kurt,” Blaine huffed exaggeratedly. 

“How is this my fault?” 

“You know Tina still calls me that. It's not even a good nickname.” 

“Ooh! I'm gonna tell Tina you said that,” Kurt laughed. 

“No! I take it back. I love that nickname, in fact, you can keep calling me that, Sebastian,” Blaine said sarcastically. 

“Oh, I wasn't seeking your permission, Blainey-Days.” 

Their banter continued all through lunch. Blaine caught Kurt shooting him a worried look, but otherwise lunch went smoothly.

Later that evening the three of them decided to watch a movie and when Blaine came into the living room and saw Sebastian and Kurt already sitting next to each other, he didn't sit on either of their laps or squeeze himself between them like he might have done only the day before. Rather, he passed them two of the three bowls of popcorn and sat alone on the armchair next to them. When Kurt shot him a curious glance, he pretended not to have seen it and focused on the movie.

*** 

The next morning Blaine slept in late and when he came into the kitchen to find Sebastian and Kurt already eating breakfast, he debated whether it would be OK to kiss them good morning. He didn't want it to appear like he was trying to redirect their attention to himself but he did want to kiss them. He decided against it. _Better safe than sorry_ , he thought.

“Good morning,” he said instead, pulling out a chair and sagging into it. 

“Morning, Blainey-Days,” they replied at the same time as if they had planned it.

He groaned, “ _Guys_.” 

For a second there was an awkward silence as if they expected him to say something, but when he just stood up to fix himself fruit salad, they simply continued their interrupted conversation. 

_Rule #2: Don't make them restart conversations_. Check.

*** 

_Rule #3:_ _Don't make them restart games so that you can play, too_.

A week later, Kurt had rediscovered Uno and was making Sebastian and Blaine play it with him at every opportunity. He didn't play according to the instructions but rather played _Uno from Hell_. It always ended with Kurt winning and Sebastian and Blaine juggling thirty cards each.

When Blaine came back from his shift at the dinner that evening, a Friday, he saw them playing in the living room. He laughed at Sebastian's angry expression and Kurt's triumphant smirk. He knew he shouldn't ask them to restart the game even though he wanted them to, and moved to sit in Kurt's lap instead. He quickly aborted the action when he remembered _Rule # 1_. Sighing he went to take a shower. 

After dinner they sat down in the living room to watch another episode of _Friends_. Blaine so desperately wanted to cuddle up with them. He didn't want to do it for attention, it's just he'd had a really hard week trying to follow his new rules, that he really wanted to have some comfort. But he didn't know how to ask for it without making it seem like he's asking for attention. He no longer knew when it was OK to cuddle or sit on their laps.

 _If you hadn't been such an attention whore in the first place you wouldn't have this problem now_. 

He swallowed the lump in his through and cuddled a large cushion to his chest.

 _This will have to do_. _Maybe later when you've proven yourself they won't mind you cuddling with them_.

***

Sunday morning came, and Blaine found himself standing in the doorway of the kitchen debating once again if it would be OK to hug his boyfriends. Just when he decided not to risk it —it will be worth it in the ling run— Sebastian spotted him.

 

“Damn, Blainey-Days! Those pants are _hot_.” Sebastian sauntered over and laced his arms around Blaine's neck. 

Blaine looked down at his outfit. _Oh no_. “No, no, I didn't wear them to, um, I didn't mean to, to, uuh, it's just the first thing I saw in my wardrobe.”

“Hey, hey, I'm not complaining,” Sebastian smirked leaning down to kiss him thoroughly.

Blaine blushed, feeling flustered and guilty, he slipped out of Sebastian's embrace and hugged Kurt, trying to act as natural as possible.

How did you tell someone you didn't do it for attention without saying it? 

He was finding following his rules far more challenging than he had initially thought. He didn't know where the boundary was. He didn't want to ignore or avoid his boyfriends but he didn't want to be an attention whore. 

As he walked to the grocery store that afternoon, the words attention whore burned his eyes. They took him right back to two years ago. After he had cheated on Kurt, he became accustomed to those words being thrown at him. He remembered how they had hurt him because they implied that he was so hungry for attention that he would risk loosing the most precious thing in his life for it. Also, the word “whore” hadn't made him feel better having already felt like a worthless slut. Having other people confirm what he already felt about himself just made it hurt more. 

Blinking away the unshed tears he paid for his purchase. On the way back he thought of ways to show them he loved them without making it seem like he was asking for attention. _You could do thing for them, like bring them tea, rub their feet, give Kurt a manicure. That way you can feel close to them without drawing attention to yoursel_ _f_.

Grinning, he walked home with a spring in his step. 

***

 

“Have you noticed the way Blaine has changed. It seems he took our words to heart,” Sebastian smiled. 

“Yes, but don't you think he is being a bit extreme?” Kurt was worried. “I don't want him to think that he can't cuddle with us or sit on our laps. Even at school he's different. Never draws attention to himself. He still does his best, still gets A's on his assignments and when he performs he doesn't hold back either. But he only does these things when it's required of him. He always redirects attention to others when he is in a conversation, doesn't speak up as much as he used to. He's taken it too far and has lost an essential part of his personality.” 

They both turned when they heard the front door opening. 

“We'll fix it, OK?” Sebastian said quickly.

 

***

 

“I bought Nutella! Who wants tea.” Blaine practically skipped into the kitchen, tuning on the kettle and then unpacking the shopping bag. 

Sebastian and Kurt glanced at each other before nodding and smiling. 

“What do you have in mind?” Kurt asked.

“Nutella S'mores, tea and _Friends_?” He asked, feeling a twinge of insecurity.

“Sure, I'll help.” Sebastian jumped up to get the cookies out of the cupboard.

“No,no, you guys can put in the DVD and make the couch comfy. I'll do everything here,” he said shooing them out of the kitchen.

Soon he came out of the kitchen holding a tray. He set it down on the table and handed them each a mug of steaming tea, grateful that the weather had become cold that morning. 

“Thanks, Blaine, this is so nice,” Kurt sighed. “Sitting down and putting my feet up is exactly what I need after a week of dance classes. My feet are practically dead.”

“Here,” Blaine said quietly because the episode was already playing. He put a large cushion on the floor for him to sit on and took Kurt's clean feet in his hands, gently massaging them.

“Blaine, you don't have to do that, I wasn't hinting,” Kurt protested.

“No, it's fine. I want to do this for you.” Blaine revelled in the simple touch he was sharing with Kurt. In the forgone week he had missed the simple non-sexual touches he usually shared with his boyfriends. Messaging Kurt's feet lessened the strong desire to cuddle up between them and wrap a blanket tightly around them. He wanted to be able to touch and kiss as he pleased without second guessing himself.

Sighing, he put those thoughts aside.

*** 

Monday evening found them sitting in the living room drinking hot chocolate. Sebastian was reading out aloud since Kurt insisted that they spend too much time watching _Friends_. Blaine had to agree. Besides, it was pouring outside and Sebastian had such a beautiful reading voice, it created the perfect atmosphere. 

Sebastian looked up from his book and saw Blaine standing in the doorway. He remembered his promise to Kurt that they would fix it. “Blaine.” He patted his lap, motioning to Blaine to come join him on the armchair.

“Really?” Blaine was apprehensive and excited at the same time. He would never refuse an offer to cuddle, but he almost felt like he was being tested or sent into a trap.

“Yes, really.” Sebastian rolled his eyes. He patted his lap again and when Blaine finally settled on top of him, he wrapped his arms around him securely.

Blaine felt his eyes welling up and pressed his face into Sebastian neck, smelling his boyfriend's musky scent. There was something so calming and comforting about being so close to someone. He felt safe for the first time in over a week. He laced his arms around Sebastian's chest without hesitation, certain that Sebastian wouldn't mind, he had offered after all. As Sebastian continued to read, Blaine paid little attention to the words being spoken but rather listened to the rumble in Sebastian's chest as he read. He squeezed Sebastian and kissed his neck, cuddled into the warmth of his body, trying to get closer.

“Blaine, stop fidgeting,” Sebastian said irritatedly. 

“Sorry,” Blaine said meekly, shrinking back and hoping he won't be made to leave.

“Hey, it's OK,” Sebastian replied. Shooting Kurt a worried look, he asked, “what's wrong?”

Blaine simply shook his head and held on tightly.

“Blaine?” Kurt asked.

“I don't want to leave,” he sniffed. He knew he was being a baby, but couldn't help it. It has been so long since he was last able to cuddle with one of his boyfriends. 

“Leave? Leave where?” Sebastian asked.

“Here.” Blaine squeezed Sebastian again.

“My lap,” Sebastian laughed. Sobering, he gave Kurt a pleading look. He didn't know how to deal with this. He wasn't good with emotions and tears.

“Blaine.” Kurt sat down on the armrest. “You don't have to leave. You can stay,” he said gently. 

“Thank you.” Sniffling, Blaine tried to keep the tears at bay. 

Clearing his throat, Sebastian began, “Blaine, we noticed you behaving differently all of last week.” 

“I was trying not to be an attention whore. You were right, I'm attention hungry because I have daddy and mommy issues,” Blaine laughed self-depreciatingly. Cheeks reddening, he tried to hide his face in Sebastian's neck. 

“Blaine, please don't talk about yourself like that,” Kurt pleaded. 

“I shouldn't have called an attention whore and I shouldn't have mentioned your parents,” Sebastian apologised. 

“We're glad that you've been trying to improve, but you've taken it too far. We don't want you to feel like you can't talk and sing at school or cuddle with us. We know you're tactile person and that you love to socialise and sing. And we know you don't do those things just to get attention,” Kurt spoke earnestly. 

“So I still cuddle with you? And I can still sing and dance at school?” Blaine asked hopefully. 

“Yes, Blaine, we don't want you to change who you are. I still don't understand why you feel like you have to have our undivided attention all the time. With others I kinda understand, but not with your boyfriends,” Sebastian said, his voice becoming breathy when he spoke the word “boyfriends,” even after all these years he couldn't imagine that he, Sebastian Smythe the residential slut who doesn't believe in monogamy, had boyfriends. 

“I don't want you to forget me and leave.” Tears were rolling down Blaine's cheeks, he couldn't control them.

“Blaine, that doesn't even make sense.” 

“I used to be able to get my parents' attention with my good grades and manners, but after a while they got used to them and forgot me. I tried other ways to get their attention, getting solos in Glee, getting the lead in a play, learning things about cars, but nothing I did made them want to home a bit longer or talk to me. Not even it being my birthday would get their attention. They never even called on my birthday. And I could never impress Cooper because whatever I could do he had learned ten years before. I only made friends because I could sing and act. Without my voice I would have probably been alone for years. Only a few people love me for more than my voice and acting skills. And I'm afraid that if I loose their attention I might loose their affection.” Blaine was crying now. He had never shared these thoughts with anybody. He had never let people know how insecure he really was. No-one likes the insecure kid, people like confident people. People like Blaine Warbler. Blaine Anderson? Not so much. 

“Oh, Blaine.” Suddenly something clicked in Kurt's head. “Is that why you asked me all these call and mechanic questions back in high school?”

Blaine nodded. 

“We never wanted you to change you who are. You can be one hundred percent Blaine Devon Anderson around Kurt and me. You don't have to vie for our attention. We love you and nothing is gonna make us stop loving you. We won't forget or abandon you,” Sebastian said, stroking Blaine's curls. 

“Really?” Blaine came out from his hiding place and looked at them hopefully.

“Yeah, really. And you can go back to singing and dancing and cuddling and sitting on our laps. Just know you don't have to do these things to get anyone's attention.”

“Thank you.” Blaine smiled through his tears and pulled Kurt down on top of him. 

“Guys, you're squashing me!” Sebastian yelled, throwing a nearby pillow at them.

As could have been predicted, this one action started the pillow fight of the year.


End file.
